Short Sarah's short list short story

I've had a few requests asking me to reveal my 500 word short story, now that the final short list has been established. I did think twice about making this public (there's a fine line between 'selling yourself' and 'being really arrogant', which I believe I may have crossed in certain areas). But, I figured, since I've already read out on national TV that my first action in life was excretion, I probably have no shame left now anyway.


The brief for this was:

Write a 300-500 word story, including:

- A little about your background, previous employment, family, where you live
- What is most important to you in life
- If successful in gaining The Best Job in the World with Tourism Queensland, who will be joining you on your journey to the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef (partner and/or children and tell us a little about them)
- Anything else you would like to share about yourself


Please, enjoy at you leisure....

Twenty-five years ago a little girl was born - Sarah Louise: international jetsetter, centre section of the illustrious ‘Lane sisters’, and one of the smallest living organisms on Earth. This is my story…

Born on November 19th, I am what one calls ‘a winter baby’. But I didn’t let the cold weather get me down, oh no - I was a merry child from birth. Within seconds of entering the universe, I relieved myself on the maternity bed. My parents like to say that was my first joke and I haven’t stopped laughing since.

I grew […slightly] up in Watford, England – the kind of place that makes you dream of travel. Daughter of a pianist and a chemist, my early days were largely spent entertaining neighbours with music shows, learning how to blow things up and wrestling with my siblings. My two sisters were, and remain, my closest friends. Along with a handful of my funniest chums, they will definitely receive an invitation to the island. Since my lifestyle choices and their dancing careers keep us all regularly England-free, it would be the first ‘tripod’ reunion in years.

Thanks to the inherited gift of synaesthesia (a rare condition meaning I associate numbers and letters with colours) learning has always been enjoyable for me and I breezed my way through the education system. I completed my studies at university in Leeds, where I acquired the nickname ‘Party Girl’ for my love of dancing, and lived in a house with two girls, five boys and no bathroom door.

I’ve never been one to opt for the ordinary life and have had a range of ridiculous jobs, beginning, age fourteen, as a mobile phone ringtone composer. Later, I branched out into various other money-making schemes including working as a Red Bull girl, dancing for Watford Football Club, writing for a humorous city guide, and marketing a comedy TV channel. When times were hard, in a bid to raise funds for another global voyage, I even dabbled in tutoring guys on their dating skills. I may also be the only Londoner to have ever used the genuine excuse “Sorry I’m late, I’ve just commuted from Johannesburg”.

These days I like to think of myself as an international woman of mystery; bouncing around the world in random peregrination with nothing but my blagging skills and superior sense of smell to guide me. Those left behind are entertained by my much-loved blog ‘The International Adventures of Party Girl’; memoirs to accompany the diary I have kept since the age of fifteen.

Adventure, spontaneity, photography and writing are my true loves. I’m genuinely never in a bad mood and will talk to anyone, go anywhere, try everything and eat anything (except aniseed balls). I’m currently living in a boxing arena in Peru with ten fighters I met on a bus, but I really hope to relocate soon to a beautiful island on the Great Barrier Reef, and take my blog readers on an entirely new adventure…

NB. Queensland Tourism's feedback on this was:

"Very strong performance - engaging well written piece, answers all questions, desirable writing style"

Unfortunately, unless accompanied by hurling myself into the Thames, it doesn't account for very much (my words, not theirs). Damn it! It seems so obvious in hindsight. Still, nice that they appreciated my story anyhow…

Have a good day all… I’m off job hunting…